Me? I have been somewhere between crazy and busy.
This past year has been a whirlwind of things, mostly new. We moved to a new, beautiful state. Are blessed with an amazing parish and a good holy priest. Good friends who are within a driving distance, great health care for everyone but most importantly for my special needs child. He has truly thrived with his new team-best of all he actually ENJOYS going to most of his therapies! Shocker, I know.
We welcomed a sweet little girl who through out the pregnancy has kept me on my toes to say the least.
All the worries and stress have given me a reminder that I must continue to work on my own sanctification- a path that led me to eventually shut down my Facebook account, a decision I had been contemplating for nearly two years. It was most definitely NOT an easy feat.
I had to log back in to ask for prayers, deactivate, then back for links I had saved related to homeschool, then back because apparently I cannot have my home based business(You can view it here) without a Facebook account-sigh. So it has been a whirlwind.
At this point I am rethinking many things I had previously been busy with in my life and although they seemed important at the time, they no longer seem to matter as much as I had given them credit. Have you ever found yourself there? Just questioning, discerning EVERY.SINGLE.THING. That is where I am now. Giving up things that may not seem like much but that had actually consumed a BIG part of my life. It can be so exhausting.... Partly I felt like I was leaving people behind, maybe not being such a good friend for shutting my Facebook down, know what I mean? I felt I was leaving people without proper evangelization. There are so many things that kept me there for so long but it all had to do with PEOPLE. I felt like (still kind of do) I am doing them all a disservice.
Truth be told it is exactly for these reasons I must walk away. I need to refocus my priorities. I will continue to pray over every friend and family member who was part of my online "circle" but truth be told only a couple of them have cared enough to reach out and see how I am doing. This is actually a great eye opener, I must focus on what should always be my true priorities. God, family and everything that centers around that.
So many misguided priorities have finally caught up with me. I have no one to blame but myself. I enjoyed having people who listened when I was feeling sad about my husband's deployment, I am eternally grateful for the prayers through out my pregnancy complications. The day when it looked like we might lose Therese, it was those prayers that helped sustain us, but now I must keep all those wonderful things in my heart and go back to caring, nurturing and guiding my home.
We started homeschooling and I prepped and planned everything but still find feeling myself not prepared enough...
My homemaking had long stopped being a top priority, don't get me wrong I still did the bare minimum but that is NOT what I am supposed to do. NOT the bare minimum. In the end is not just doing the minimum cleaning, or laundry or cooking- it is the bare minimum for God. Not acceptable.
I want to give my all to those I love and be actually joyful when I do it, you know? Now I must go back to refocus on those that should always be a priority and to give God glory in all the things He has called me to do. Please pray for me as I pray for discerning and try to actually listen to His word and do His Will, as it should have always remained.
In the mean time, I am weathering the next few weeks...
God bless.
